Freedom

At my reunion last night, I felt something I’d never felt before at these kinds of things. I felt relaxed.

You know that pressure you feel when you get around high school classmates? You want to look flawless, sound intelligent, appear (somewhat) successful. The charades we all create are meant to hide who we really are because somehow we don’t feel worthy. We don’t feel as though we’re enough.

Last night I realized all my secrets have been revealed. There is no longer a need to pretend. No longer a need to be anything other than who I am. It was very liberating.

In the last few years or so, I’ve become braver. A truth-teller rather than a “don’t rock the boat” kind of person. I’m more in touch with my emotions and feelings. And I’m way more inclined to assert my convictions or stand up for myself than I ever was in the past.

Is this because I’m 43 and I don’t give a shit what people think of me? Maybe. The point is, we all have baggage from high school or college or our twenties that – if we don’t deal with it-  will consume us. And make us try too hard to make others like us or approve of us.

Last night was loads of fun. I was finally able to relax and just enjoy. And you know what I call that? Freedom.

Class of 1988

Tonight is my 25th high school reunion. Sounds cliche, but I can’t believe it’s been 25 years!

I’ve been thinking about 80s stuff…so here’s a completely random data dump of what’s running through my mind from this fabulous decade:

BIG HAIR, BON JOVI, PRINCE, ALF, THE COSBY SHOW, PACMAN, LOVES BABYSOFT, TIGERBEAT MAGAZINE, SCOTT BAIO, LUKE AND LAURA, CHALLENGER, DALLAS, MTV, PAT BENATAR, VAN HALEN, JORDACHE JEANS, and FLASHDANCE.

I’m sure there’s more…but what did I miss?

All in all…a good day :)

My small turkey came out pretty darn good.

I tried making salt potatoes as a nod to our friends in Syracuse…not bad, but not the greatest.

Fried corn with scallions and bacon..,yum.

Butternut squash courtesy of a recipe from Trader Joe’s…yum.

Stuffing, a la Stove Top…yum.

My parents worked patiently with our girls and made a gingerbread house with yummy frosting, which I may or may not have scraped off already. Multiple times. *yum*

And a thoughtful husband who ran out to the only open grocery store to get some aluminum foil because it’s one of many things I forgot…

Pies in the fridge – pumpkin and chocolate cream. Football on now and Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on tonight.

All in all a good day 🙂

And now? I’m off to the local CVS to get my husband some whipped cream for his pumpkin pie because I forgot it.
I figure it’s the least I can do given the whole aluminum foil thing.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU!

Wordless Wednesday

source: imdb.com

The Last Thing I Hid

This is one of the prompts from BlogHer for the daily blog post challenge: tell us about the last thing you hid.

The last thing I hid was our Elf on a Shelf. My nine year old got her a few years ago on Thanksgiving and she named her “Katie the Elf.” Do you know the whole elf story?

source: amazon.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are the rules:

No one can touch the elf.

No one can move the elf.

The elf “leaves” every night and “reports” back to Santa at the North Pole.

If my husband and I aren’t too tired or lazy or drunk to remember, she reappears each morning in a different spot.

She returns back to my jewelry box the North Pole on Christmas Eve and doesn’t return until next Thanksgiving.

For the life of me I couldn’t remember where I had stashed Katie. I couldn’t put her with the Christmas decor because my daughter would surely find her. Luckily, I have a decent size jewelry box with multiple hidden compartments. Let’s just say Katie folds up nicely.

I see some people on Facebook do some really creative things with their elves. I’m going to try to be a bit more creative with my elf placement this year. And I’m going to set my alarm to go off every night at 11pm so I remember to move her. There were way too many nights last year when my husband and I were cozy and warm in bed when we realized we hadn’t moved Katie. Wish me luck!

 

The One Where I Reveal My Stalker Tendencies

I’m totally duplicating efforts today. I’m reblogging my column this month from the Open Adoption Bloggers website.

On being thankful for books, the Internet and openness. And how I’m a total stalker.

 

http://openadoptionbloggers.com/2013/11/25/thankful-for-books-the-internet-and-openness/

Oh Please, Not The Whole “Happy Holidays” Thing Again

I have no problem at all with how people greet me during the holidays. As long as it doesn’t involve an insult or calling me a name I wouldn’t want my kids to hear. Say “Merry Christmas” to me, and I’ll thank you and say it right back to you. Say “Happy Holidays” and I’ll return the favor. Say “Happy Hanukkah” and I shall wish you the same.

I took my daughter to the Radio City Christmas show tonight and as we walked in, one of the greeters said, “Hi everybody! Happy Holidays!”

To which an elderly, white man SHOUTED back, “THAT’S MERRY CHRISTMAS, SON!”

Way to go, sir. Your mean spiritedness really showed him.

Posts like these and various chain emails about the importance of saying “Merry Christmas” make their rounds every year and they bug me. For goodness sake, if you want to say Merry Christmas, then say it. But don’t be offended if everyone doesn’t say it. And certainly don’t be offended if someone wants to say Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or Buenas Noches (fine, forget that last one – I’m just checking to see if you’re still with me). My point is, why can’t we all just exchange greetings…smile…and enjoy it?

Does everything have to be a political statement? I don’t want to be all crabby about this because who cares? I’ll continue to say what I want to say. And I think everyone else should too. So good bye crabbiness and hello ‘NSync. Don’t tell anyone, but I love ‘NSync and I love this song. And note – it’s called “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” Good for you, young Justin Timberlake.

 

Wrapping Presents…

While my oldest is at a sleepover tonight we are taking full advantage and wrapping some Christmas presents.

I’m falling into the trap. I want to wrap each thing individually so it will look like we got more presents. How very commercial of me, right?

Please tell me I’m not the only one that does this!

I Can’t Seem To Get In The Mood

The holiday mood, that is. I can’t seem to get in the spirit just yet. Work is busy, which I’m grateful for. And the girls keep me busy. My husband’s traveling has stopped until the end of the year, which is also a good thing.

Maybe it’s the fact that we have no snow yet. It’s been plenty cold. Bitter, even. But no snow yet. I’ve purged and organized our coat closet and restocked our scarves, gloves, mittens, earmuffs and winter boots in anticipation of the first flurries.

Could be that unlike years past, I’m not actively listening to holiday music yet. Although while walking past a lonely Santa at our local mall (a clear and sad indication to me that perhaps I’m not the only one struggling to embrace Christmas before Thanksgiving), I listened to the piped in mall music…and realized the song that was playing is one of my favorites. It was the Vince Guaraldi Trio playing the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. My favorite song on that whole CD – “Christmastime Is Here” – is kind of slow and almost mournful. But I love it.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe I just need a little more Charlie Brown.  🙂

Glasnost is Coming…

November is National Adoption Month and there have been lots of wonderful stories in the media lately. Some of them have been really extraordinary.

I believe that honest and open discussions as well as truth-telling will eventually extinguish the myths still surrounding adoption – open adoption, in particular. Over the last several months, I’ve become immersed in the open adoption community. I’ve followed blogs, chatted on twitter and read extraordinary articles, which little by little are shedding light on the secrecy, shame and stereotypes that unfortunately still permeate the adoption community. And I’ve heard horror stories just as you might have of parents who have “returned” their adopted child as if the child was some commodity purchased at the local Costco. It’s heartbreaking. And I’ve seen the ridiculous so-called reality shows that glamorize teen pregnancy and trivialize the very profound and personal choice of adoption. I’m not linking to any of these shows because I don’t want to generate any more publicity for them than necessary. But one flip to the Oxygen Network, Bravo or MTV will clue you in to what I’m talking about.

But there is one woman whose voice rises above all the negativity. Lori Holden is an adoptive mom who has embraced her children’s birthmothers. Heck, she even co-authored a book, “The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption,” with her daughter’s birthmom. It’s a fabulous read. I encourage everyone to buy it, and read it.

Today, Lori wrote a national article for National Adoption Month. She titled it, “Ready or Not, Glasnost is Coming.” Her premise is that she believes the walls surrounding adoption will come crashing down – not unlike the Berlin Wall 25 years ago. She believes in openness in open adoption (not walls of secrecy or shame.) She believes in honoring her children’s biological heritage (not building walls that hide the truth.) And she believes that all adoptees have the right to open access to records so they can know their personal histories, not to embarrass or reveal – but so that adoptees can reclaim their personal identity.

Her article is fabulous. And so, I decided to repost it here. I hope you’ll take the time to read it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lori-holden-/ready-or-not-glasnost-is-_b_4296934.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=847498b=facebooksb=1401968b=facebook