Where Are The Dads’ Voices?

If you go to any bookstore, big or small, and visit the parenting section, notice how many books are written by and for women and moms. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but it kind of makes you wonder where all the dads are. Where are their voices? Where are their stories?

When I think about the parenting books I read when I was just starting out raising my girls, they were almost exclusively written by women (with the noted exception of Dr. Spock.) They were stories from moms who eagerly shared their experiences about breastfeeding, potty training or navigating the challenges of a child with special needs. Their stories were told with great candor infused with humor, as if they were your best girlfriend sitting in your kitchen.

But what about the dad’s perspective? Why are their voices all but absent from the conversation?

Certainly there was a point in time when it wasn’t considered masculine to be a hands-on dad or to be concerned about how well you were parenting. I’m happy to say things are changing.

A new book will be released this Father’s Day and it’s a beautiful compilation of some of the most heart-warming and heart-wrenching stories you’ll ever hear about parenthood. And they’re all written by dads.

The book is  called, “Dads Behaving Dadly: Real Stories of the New Fatherhood Culture” and is co-authored by author, speaker and life coach, Hogan Hilling, and Al Watts, President of the National At-Home Dads Network. The book is being released by Motivational Press and will feature more than 60 stories by fathers who share some of their most intimate and defining parenting moments.

I had the great pleasure of reading some of these stories in advance of the publication and they really touched my heart. The stories are real and moving and so very powerful. I think it’s incredibly brave for these fathers to be vulnerable in sharing with the world the tender moments they experience with their children.

Parenthood is a scary and uncertain time. You navigate each day as it comes. We like to think if we read all the books, manuals and how-to guidebooks that it will all make sense. But nothing could be further from the truth. What gets us through the day-to-day struggles is the connections we make with other parents. It’s in the sharing of our stories and discovering that we aren’t in this alone.

THAT is what these brave men are doing. They are showing fathers (and mothers) that parenthood is complicated and wonderful and frustrating and exhilarating (sometimes all in the same day), but it’s worth it. 

I love the idea of this book. I was told by the authors that they are still accepting stories. So if you know a father who would be willing to share his story of what fatherhood and being a dad means, please go to Dads Behaving Dadly for more information. You can also read some of the sample stories on their site.

I applaud Mr. Hilling and Mr. Watts for their vision. I can’t wait to read more of the stories.

 

 

 

 

 

Hogan Hilling
Author, Speaker & Life Coach
Twitter @TheDadGuru
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18 thoughts on “Where Are The Dads’ Voices?

  1. Kim – I never realized that, but it doesn’t surprise me. I hope you have a story to share that the authors would like. If not a story, I love that John got the Olivia tattoo – photo w/a caption might be just what they need. Just my own thought…

  2. Kim, Thanks you so much for making time to read the Dadly book sample and writing the review about the book. To Olivia and other moms who might misunderstand the purpose of the book. The book is about fatherhood and we only accept stories from dads. Please invite your husband to write the story. As Kim noted, we are still accepting stories from dads. The website address is http://www.dadsbehavingdadly.com. The Submission Guidelines Page has all the instructions. If there are any other mom bloggers, who would like to read the Sample copy, you can submit your request through the Dads Behaving Dadly Contact Page. Hogan Hilling, Co-Author Dads Behaving Dadly.

  3. It’s great to read something so supportive of what Al, Hogan, and all the dad’s involved are doing. How wonderful will it be once we are past the stigma that says dad’s aren’t as good at parenting as mothers. The day is coming as evidenced by this book. Great review!

    • Thanks so much, Ronald. It’s too bad there is still a stigma. My husband is a wonderful father to our girls. I’m sure there are many dads out there doing a stand-up job, but not getting the opportunity to share their stories. Thank you for reading :)

  4. Kim,
    As a former stay-at-home dad I want to thank you for spreading the word about this book and the resources available for dads who are primary caregivers for their kids. Its nice to know that dads have people like you in their corner. Thank you again. Great article.

  5. Thank you for this review, Kim. I appreciate how you appreciate hearing from the perspectives of dads. This book will share many, providing not only heart-warming and heart-wrenching stories, but also, we hope, some very practical inspiration for many dads to behave sadly! Thank you for the great review.

  6. One of the challenges I’ve found in our venture into the adoption arena is the lack of perspective from the Dad side of things. I read a book a while back that gave some historical evidence on how to be a man, but not a lot is out there on how to be a good dad. There are a lot of men out there that could express their trials and tribulations, but maybe don’t know or have the right motivation to share their stories. This is one such way. Thank you for sharing!

    • Charles, thanks so much for your comments. I never really thought about it either until I started remembering the books I turned to when I was expecting my daughters. It makes sense that I would want to read about other moms’ experiences, but I know my husband would have appreciated hearing things from a dad’s perspective as well. Thanks.

  7. It is difficult to find enlightening and enriching stories about fatherhood with a modern spin. Looking forward to being a small part of this great collection. Thank you for the kind words!

  8. I’m anxiously waiting for the release of Dads Behaving Dadly. There is a real void in the market when it comes to dads’ perspectives. Guys aren’t as open about their feelings, but we definitely have the same, strong emotions moms have. This book demonstrates the amazing bond dads have with their kids. Thanks for sharing.

    Stacey James Wheeler
    Founder of Stepdadding.com

  9. Pingback: Vaderschap complex en uniek verschijnsel 2/2 | Stepping Toes

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